The Art of Seperation — from the negative emotions and thoughts.

How do we manage all the thoughts and emotions that the mind generates?

We begin making these questions as we grow, because the mind impulsively generates these elements that make as suffer

Pain…

Confusion…

Anxiety…

Frustration…

Sadness…

Stress…

Every person has a different background; that is why we approach these things in a different way.

But in the end everything we do is just “tricks”.

Do you know why?

All the solutions are artificial. They aim to relieve the person now, not to solve the real problem from its root.

The real problem, that generates all these struggles, is summarized in the following phrase “ignorance of the mind’s nature”.

We don’t know mind’s nature.

There, for we cannot see the real nature of the problem.

If we don’t know how something operates, we cannot do much.

If my car doesn’t work properly, I can take it to a car mechanic to fix it. I can do the same thing with my phone, or my refrigerator at home.

In all of these I can “see” the problem, but not necessarily do much about it, to solve it myself.

I have to take it to the “expert”.

You know what I can’t take to the “expert”.

My mind and my heart!

It’s not possible to take them somewhere and “ask to fix them for me”.

It’s one of those things I have to learn how to “fix them” myself. I cannot pay somebody else to solve these issues for me.

The First landmark

The road to understanding is the road to freedom.

I’ll say that again.

The road to understanding is the road to freedom.

Spiritual freedom.

Mental freedom.

Emotional freedom.

The road has landmarks.

The landmark is a characteristic and a very important point on a course.

While many paths lead to this road (of freedom), most of them inevitably meet at some points along the way. We call these points, landmarks.

The first landmark is somehow typical. It is about a mental dimension, a way of looking at things. What is it?

Let’s separate the “I” (me) as an observer, from “it”, every mental or emotional phenomenon that takes place “within us”.

People react to their thoughts and emotions in two main ways:

1. They fight them.

2. They dramatize them.

We fight them when we try to keep them away, to not feel them, to deny them, or hide them, etc…

We dramatize them when we talk through them; when we let them govern up on us and determine or color our words, our tension, our choices and expression.

Neither of these two gives us the right space. Neither of these two attributes gives the proper position and value to our self and our emotions. Neither of these two recognizes the proper space between the two.

To achieve the right space, we must be separated from emotions.
Separated, and apart… that is there, and me the observer is here.
There is a space between us. Α mental, spiritual, and psychological space.

It is not the same thing as denial and avoidance. These things raise and subserve the fear of emotions. In separation there is no fear. There is an understanding of the true nature of the issue, that is the way it always works therapeutically.

Prerequisites

“We were looking somewhere else, and it came from something else!”…

“Miracle!”…

I got the chills… out of joy.

These were the words of a student. He tried for a few hours to apply this principle. But why could he? Let’s look at it.

In order to be able to do this, one must first have understood and mastered a few things, without which, one could not achieve separation:

1. The word meditation and/or consciousness should not be confused, connected or give rise to ideas about east, religions, monks, sedentary eremites, etc… they are not identical things! The forced connection of these two elements of different nature and type, brings confusion and latent logical processing. It is like connecting the “wheels” with the “cars”, as if there are no wheels in other vehicles or in other furniture and structures…

The word refers to a state of mind. A state of mind is something that any human being can experience. It has nothing to do with any time or place. There will definitely be some similar ancient Greek words, although I have not yet been able to find it.

2. Consciousness means looking at something, without forming “opinions” or “ideas” about it. I just look and experience. The mind does not create anything upon what I see.

It is a stoic attitude that we maintain about the world around us. We are called to extend this attitude not only to our environment, but also to our senses, thoughts and feelings.

We achieve this by examining very carefully the process born within us (in our psyche or in our mind, as we say), immediately after our first contact with any of the above elements. We feel, for example, “anxiety”. What happens next? Reactions, new thoughts, new feelings, etc.

We observe the chain of creation. We recognize the sequence of phenomena. We separate each creation from the other. Each has its own elements and characteristics.

By the way, all this is pure “Asis” for anyone who follows my blog and writing knows what I am talking about.

3. So, meditation is not something we do. It is a state of mind. It’s the way we look at the world. Therefore, to say “I sit and meditate” for an hour, in example, it is understood at first; but it shows that we are not yet familiar with the subject.

To understand this, we will give an example. Let’s say we want to have a healthy diet. We sit for an hour and focus on this thought. Then we get up and move on with our lives, without thinking too much about it. How likely is it to eat healthy now?!

The same thing applies with meditation. Doing “some meditation” as an “activity” and then continuing our “normal life” does not mean anything.

We basically do not meditate. Meditation has significant benefits, far beyond what scientific research has so far revealed. But it has meaning and substance when we keep it all day long. We said that meditation is a state of mind.

Thus, we are called to live our lives, every simple day to day things such as housework, and our contact with other people (family, partner, co-workers, etc..), all at the same time we keep in mind the state of meditation.
This is meditation!

I will dare to say that meditation as an “activity”, in a specific space and time, has some benefits in the beginning, for people who are not familiar. But without the proper understanding of the above, eventually becomes another fallacy for the practitioner!

I know countless “advanced practitioners” in “meditation”, who in their normal life and daily activities have no profit… I think it’s a shame.

When these are understood by the individual and he applies them in his life, then he can achieve separation.

This is the first landmark.

How Separation Works

The basic line of separation is:

“This is this, I am me. We are separate things.”

or

“From the moment I look at it, there is a distance and we are separate things.”

In all the above phrases, “this” is the feeling we feel, the thought we think, etc..

The person, as weird as it sounds, is not his thoughts and feelings.

You may be wondering “then, what is it?” While we can easily answer, it is significantly better for everyone to discover it for themselves. It is important to arrive at this answer on your own.

It will work positively because it exposes a big lie. This lie has created confusion. We all have this confusion. We get it in the first few months of our lives. If there was no confusion, if it was not true, it would not have such a positive effect.

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When we separate from an emotion or an idea that has arisen within us, we will discover some very interesting things:

1. Since we are not that (eg the feeling), we do not have to “by all means” do something about it. We do not need to obey what it tells us to do. We do not “have to” talk “like it” (the emotion). It does not have something sacred or “right” or “mandatory”, simply because it appeared. There is nothing wrong. It is just an emotion and nothing more or less.

2. Since we don’t have to do anything specific, we can choose to do anything. What matters here is the concept of choice. We have a choice. We stop reacting automatically… we can choose. So instead of a reaction, we have a response. This means self-will… it means freedom. Specifically, mental and spiritual freedom.

3. Our desires and needs are weakened. Some of them disappear, in a sense that we discover that we are now free from any internal pressure to chase them. We can do it, but also we can, not do it.

The Challenge we are Going to Face

Most people try the separation process first on items that bother them. They choose a negative emotion or an annoying thought.

When they move forward and are separated from many of such annoying feelings and thoughts, it is natural for other, more pleasurable feelings and thoughts to arise.

At this point some people get confused.

They wonder if they should be separated or not.

The answer is “yes”. They must be separated from both good feelings and good thoughts. “Good” and “pleasant” are equally trapping for the spirit.

Let me emphasize here that I do not mean that there is anything wrong with good feelings, such as love or a positive thought.

Separation helps us unravel a confusion about what we are. The more we do this process, the more the confusion dissolves.

While it’s normal not to want to be something that bothers us, we don’t feel the same at first about the most enjoyable things. However, we are not these things either. There is no need to live in this delusion.

People worry that if they are not the good feelings, then they do not know what they will be. They believe that if they are neither good nor bad, then they are nothing…

This is obviously not the case.

This stems from the ignorance that has formed within us about what we really are. Ignorance, confusion… are concepts of the same nature.

I ask you to be not afraid.

You cannot get hurt by this process.

This fear that you may feel is just an illusion of the mind… a shadow without real substance, which cannot harm you.

The separation is not done so that one stays permanently and forever separated and does nothing. No, no… That is not the purpose.

The purpose is to be aware that we are not these things and to be able to choose freely, without feeling obligated to one or the other.

Isn’t that spiritual freedom after all?

Conclusion

Hell starts from within. It starts with ignorance and confusion. Ignorance and confusion have many sides. The separation, as developed in this text, is addressed to one of these aspects.

While it does not solve the confusion that gives birth to our sufferings in its entirety and to its full extent, it does much more than we could ever have imagined.

It is no coincidence that it is also called the first landmark.

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Remember this.

It is rare to find someone talking to you about these things, simply and directly.

It is even rarer to be given a clean path to work with.

You will decide whether to take advantage of this opportunity or ignore it.

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If you decide…

I’ll see you on the other side.

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Nasos T.

Credits to Dimitris Poplidis, Mery Sfakianaki, Nik X. and Giannis Theodosopoulos for their help in language and editing | To master Milarepa for his line of wisdom that pass down till master Trungpa and Mr. Tanjo.